Scattered
by StarryNight
Summary: Sequel to 'Broken Puzzle.' Seto's thoughts on what went wrong and what will happen next.


Scattered  
By: Liz  
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am using them for fun, not profit. If you'll sue me, all you'll get are my college loans, which will be increasing by $15,000 very soon.  
Rating: PG-13  
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to my fic 'Broken Puzzle.' I had a little Seto voice in me screaming to be heard, so I agreed to its demands. And there might be a third fic at some point...I just don't know when.  
Archiving: Anywhere, just keep my name and disclaimers attached.  
Feedback is always appreciated. Flames will be laughed at, forwarded to my friend so she can laugh at them, and then forever ignored.  
  
**********  
  
As the door clicked shut, I collapsed to my knees. 'He's gone....'  
  
I felt tears burning at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Even now, with my heart shredded, I still cling to my pride.  
  
Pride. Where was it when I was begging Yami to stay? When I know I'd still beg him? I felt no qualms about losing my pride *then*.  
  
I didn't think he'd walk away from me, though I don't know why I expected different. Yugi is his other half, his Aibou....  
  
But he's my other half, too. He never knew it--*I* never knew it until he walked away from me.  
  
Part of me is raging. Blaming Yugi for tearing Yami and I apart, wanting revenge, wanting to scream, hurt, destroy. How dare he take from me the only person I can ever really remember loving, aside from my parents and Mokuba?  
  
The rest of me, though, is more logical, rational. I made certain choices with both eyes open and praying for the best. It all blew up in my face, but, wasn't I aware deep down that it might? That one day someone would figure it all out?  
  
I am a master of many things...but not the uncertainties of love.  
  
I look out the to the balcony, remembering the events that had triggered this whole fiasco. For a moment, I'm tempted to take the same route that Yugi had almost taken, but I turn away. As much as I hate to admit it, this situation is all of my own making, and I need to be man enough to face up to what my hands have wrought.  
  
It's tempting, though, the thought of leaving it all. I think to what I saw of Yugi's despair, what I had read...did he feel the same comfort as he contemplated the ground below? Did he feel like everything would be fine if he were no longer around?  
  
I am glad he didn't jump. I wish no harm to him...and besides, once Yami read that note of his, he'd leave anyway. His own guilt and pride would allow him to do no less.  
  
Yami...thinking of him hurts, so I allow my mind to go back to Yugi. I never wanted to hurt him. I tried to love him, I really did. In the end, though...he reminded me too much of my brother. Not in looks, or even personality, but in that same untouchable innocence. I couldn't see past the almost childlike glow in his eyes. I was never sure how Yami could...probably because he knew Yugi's soul inside and out. He took the time to get to know Yugi. I never did. I wanted Yami, and I went for him, just as I conduct business.  
  
I have to wonder if things could've gone differently. Trouble is, I cannot think of a situation that doesn't end with Yami choosing Yugi over me. I knew that too, deep down, that nothing I could ever do or say would overrule the bond those two share. I knew their love was deep...but I clung to hope anyway.   
  
I did have Yami's love. My fault was with trying to force Yugi out of the way. Consciously or unconsciously, I'm not sure, but I know that's what I was trying to accomplish.   
  
I achieved my goal. Too bad I ended throwing Yami out, as well. In trying to fix what I felt was an intolerable situation, I just ended up making things infinitely worse...for me.  
  
My mind is sadistic, wondering what they are doing right now. Are they glad to be rid of me? Are they clinging to each other, whispering words of love and passion, Yugi being the sole recipient of what should have been mine?  
  
A fantasy plays in my brain-of Yami coming back, telling me that he was wrong, that it is *me* that he truly loves, truly wants....  
  
But I know that is folly. I saw the look in his eyes, as he regarded Yugi and myself. I may have been his lover, but Yugi is his love.  
  
Slowly, I drag myself to my feet. There is nothing for me here now, nothing other than memories that I do not wish to dwell on right now. Later, they might be a comfort on some cold, lonely night, but right now, they are salt in a gaping wound.  
  
I will go home, to my brother. Tea is staying with him, but I won't disturb her. I will retreat to my room, curl up into a ball, and maybe let myself cry until morning's light.  
  
Then, I will gather my pride around me, and begin my life anew.  
  
A life without my Yami.  
  
**********  
  
The End 


End file.
